A New Year!

2012 is here and we each get a new start, that is what we tell ourselves but it's just like any other day. I'm starting this year with a cold and a very bad attitude. I didn't feel like going to church. I think I have let other people;s attitudes influence me too much. Maybe God needs to jerk a know in my tail.

I have not shown love to friends and family as I should. I was really irritated with Jan yesterday because she won't stop smoking. Her addictions are stronger than her willpower and shame. I guess mine are too as every time I turn around I want to put some sort of food in my mouth. Some of my anger is being mad and upset with myself. Maybe I can figure out how to control it and work through things by writing about them. It's only the 2nd day of 2012, so I don't expect miracles overnight.

This upcoming week is going to either give Jan good or bad results. Keeping the leg may not be an option but it's hard to be optimistic and realistic at the same time. I guess if she looses her leg she can begin to take her life back. For the past 5 years her life has been on hold. Pray that whatever God has planned for her will prove to be a blessing for those around her and we will grow and persevere through this.

I need an attitude adjustment and pray that God's plans for me will be revealed and I can be a light for Him. With the attitude I have right now, I'm in the dark.

Took Jan to her Mom and Dad's yesterday. She slept in the car going and coming and partially while eating. Was able to visit with Tifanie and Mackenlie and briefly with Mike and Darlene. Had planned on picking Taiyler up but plans fell through. Haven't seen my girl in several weeks and I'm missing her.

Today started off with Jan knocking on the door to wake me up for work - I am off today and she didn't know. Was able to roll over for a short while until Lui had to get up. Checked out a few television shows and played a few games before deciding to take Jan to get her hair cut and me to get my nails done. By the time we got back home she was exhausted but wouldn't lay day.

Had bought lunch and while Jan was doing her own thing I managed to eat, go shopping, come home and finish the rest of my sandwich, finished watching the Outback Bowl (GA lost to Michigan St in OT), took the dogs out, box up things to ship to Andrea and get things together for Taiyler, Dee and Jerome, eat supper, take the dogs out again, watch The Bachelor all before she completed her sandwich from lunch. Too say she is slow is an understatement.

It's now time to head to bed. Work in the morning is going to be demanding and a girl needs her beauty sleep. Maybe I should have gone to bed earlier.

Pray for today:
Heavenly Father, start with me anew and kindle my spirit with Your love that I might be a beacon of Your light. Amen.